Free Range kids is a movement in the USA set up by NY journalist Lenore Skenazy, who was simultaneously celebrated and vilified for letting her son (then 9) travel on his own on the subway. The blog freerangekids is full of examples of silly rules and regs that US families have to endure, like one town whose children are not allowed to play outside alone (!!).

Anyway, she re- posted my blog (which is quite exciting seeing as she’s on the telly) about the Buddy programme, and this is what people had to say:

This piece really speaks more of the way the people in America who are in charge of schools..and the press…see things differently from other countries.

Growing up with a single mom there was a couple years when we didn’t live near any male family members. At the time I had no male teachers and really no in person interactions with positive male influences. We searched high and low for a mentoring program that would pair me with a man. None. Thankfully that period lasted only a couple years but it’s sad to think that young girls could grow up like that.

I’m from Canada, not the U.S. I don’t know about our neighbours to the south, but we still have Big Brothers/Big Sisters here (it used to be two separate organizations, but they merged into one at least ten years ago, probably more). However, it’s dwindled a lot in recent years, probably because of the new wave of bubble-wrap parenting paranoia that’s been sweeping our entire continent. Side note: I lived in Australia for two years, and kids seemed to do a LOT more unstructured “playing outside” there than they do here.

I mentioned once before on here that I have a big brother from big brothers big sisters of america. We did not have a lot in common but he taught me a lot of things. An appreciation for nature being among them. They sound a lot more relaxed about things down under because they have so many rules and regulations and processes to go through here that it discourages men from joining and causes an even bigger problem with kids not being placed properly.

Seems like it’s the Buddy being a male that is the issue for US authorities. With that sort of paranoia, it’s going to be so much more difficult to get early years teachers and primary teachers and other important occupations that are male. So silly

Hello

One of the first things I posted on this blog was called “the Rustic Child – 11 things they are (and 11 things you’ll never hear them say)”.

Well here’s the 12th – courtesy of Head Educator at the University of Otago Marinie Sciences programme. Interesting- he too sees a pattern in what and why rural kids can do.

I have noticed in a few years of teaching school and raising 4 rustic kids that the ‘rural enhanced individual’ is an interesting combination of individuality ( perhaps a consequence of the resourceful, pragmatic, responsible and curious components) and team player. In fact some simple research we have done on the rural and city kids coming to the gifted programmes at the New Zealand Marine studies centre, University of Otago, consistently shows the rural kids highly valuing the learning about and as teams: the city kids highly valuing the learning to do with their own personal performance. Perhaps this understanding, valuing and practical involvement in teamwork is also a consequence of community and survival in rural settings. Helping the neighbour out, and being helped out, at Haymaking, tailling, drafting, extreme weather events is an essential part of the rustic upbringing. Its being resourceful, pragmatic , responsible, flexible, resilient and cheerful.
These results and perceptions lead me to propose number 12 on the list .
12. teamworker.

Steve C.

This is from a seven year old. She gets what’s going on. She’s a rustic child. She follows the Plain Food Revolution. It might be a poor name for a best seller, but Boring Food would sell even less. Nevertheless, growing kids who have freedom, play alot, have a sense of community, and are healthy involves some mention of nutrition – of eating to be well in mind and body.

Basically, if you have artificial food colourings in your food, as listed below

102 tartrazine
104 quinoline yellow
110 sunset yellow
122 azorubine, carmoisine
123 amaranth
124 ponceau, brilliant scarlet
127 erythrosine
129 allura red
132 indigotine, indigo carmine
133 brilliant blue
142 green S, food green, acid brilliant green
143 fast green FCF
151 brilliant black
155 brown, chocolate brown

and you have artificial flavours and preservatives and flavour enhancers like MSG, it’s fair to say they don’t mix well in a child’s body. If you have a child who is sensitive to this chemical stuff the effects will be even worse – in terms of learning and behaviour (see explanation above from my learned colleague – she knows her stuff alright!)

Almost all packaged snack food has this rubbish in it and even the most innocuous foods that you get off the shelf are hiding a long list of chemical ingredients.

One way is to always buy organic, which can cost you. Another way is to scrutinise the backs of packets – doesn’t take long when you get the hang. The third and most preferred way I think is to do home baking. I’m no baker (this is not false modesty) but living here everyone bakes, and everyone “takes a plate”. If I can do scones and chocolate chip cookies, anyone can. Home baking is where its at – cheaper for lunch boxes, much much much better for us all and also has a bit of community bonding thrown in (new baby, bad news, illness, broken leg, marital disappointments, job worries – all cured for a certain amount of time by a bit of pavlova). And for treats? Scrap the lollies and sweets and candy that has no right to ever enter kid’s bodies, and give them chocolate instead. My colleague above agrees wholeheartedly to this policy.

There is a school somewhere in the US (as posted on freerangekids blog), who sent a letter home to all parents warning them to be on the lookout for “stranger danger”. Some bloke who goes to the bakery (every day) had spoken to some kids who go there (every day) and this was therefore a matter of utmost concern. Apparently, the letter said “The situation is now in the hands of the police. Fortunately for us today, all of our children are safe.” What from? Doughnut Man – that dastardly kidnapper of children?

In the South Island of New Zealand where I live, at about the same time, our local newspaper – the CO News – ran a story titled “Buddy fills special place in young boys life”.  This Buddy programme is where a child, who needs a bit of extra time with an adult, is paired up with someone who has the same interests as them, and has a lovely time.

The article was about a10 year old lad who had lost his grandfather, and so his single mum said she “had to reassess how she was going to raise her son”.  She did just that, contacted the buddy programme and now her boy spends all his Saturdays on a retired farmers farm, helping with the tractors, making stuff in the shed, sorting out the bees, doing up old machinery. Without her.

Have a go at this multiple choice quiz. The article goes on to say that when Jan Bird, the Buddy co-ordinator is approached about big buddies, she is careful to ………………..

A) Make sure big buddies are police vetted?

Probably, but it’s not the point, it’s not the issue, it’s just something that has to be done.

B) To make sure they are not alone with the child? Er, no.

C) To make sure that the parents are always around? Wrong again.

What Jan Bird is careful about is “putting our young buddy with a big buddy who I know is going to be a good match”. Obvious.

I could list all the positives from this for everyone involved, but I’d hope you could already work them out. There are many children on the list who really want a Buddy and the organisation are always advertising for more possible Buddies to come on board. The kid’s parents, the kids, the community and the Buddies themselves all agree to the value of this initiative.

If the buddy programme ever sent out a letter to parents, it might go: ” Fortunately for us today, all of our children are happy, healthy, free, helpful, safe and learning to be decent citizens.

Perhaps that’s what needs to be mailed out to parents at the silly school with the bakery concerns, instead of the overwhelming horror of someone trying to make conversation whilst eating a custard slice.

We just had a city break and were lucky enough to visit the fabulous Wellington zoo (lover of zoos or not, the animals were in tip top condition). We ended up at the talk called “be a vet for 5 minutes” where the kids put on white coats and stethoscopes and get to go into the operating theatre and see anaesthetic masks the staff have made for lion, pelicans and kiwi out of duct tape and cardboard tubes. Anyway, we’re in the lab and the vet gets out a specimen jar with a liver in it. I think it was from an otter.
My daughter asks (as you would) “how did that get there”?
To which the vet looks a bit cornered and says” ask your mum”.
To which I reply “well, it’s dead and then you cut it up and get the liver out. That’s how you find out stuff in medicine and science”.
To which the vet says “well that’s one of putting it – I can see you’re from the South Island ha ha” and looks a bit relieved and a bit aghast.

How else do you put it? Why would you not explain how it all works to an enquiring 8 year old mind? Where does pretending leave us with scientific discovery and the next generation? I appreciate that the vet left the “difficult” explanation to the parent – what worries me is why he thought it was “difficult”. If kids are made to be upset about this stuff (and it is conditioned), where on earth do you tell them their sausages come from? Or their fast food burgers…… How do you even start to think about ethics if you pretend science is about colouring in?

I found this on Yahoo Answers. A fairly reasonable question, I thought

Why don’t some people say hello? asked Jack

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080910161533AA4GNMy

The ones that i particularly like which would make me laugh if they weren’t so sad are:

“If you don’t know them then what is the point in saying hello. Hello is a basic conversation starter and I do not want to start a conversation. In a situation like that I will give a nod acknowledging their presence but I’m nt going to say hello to every single person I meet.”

“because no one hello any more they either say hey or whats up and if they don’t say anything like that its either they hate u or they hate ur guts”

“You shouldn’t be so sensitive. It is not an obligation to acknowledge every stranger that is met on the street. The world doesn’t revolve around you.”

“its embarassing or they are really shy, or had a dreadful day
when i seea random stranger..depending on who they are i may say hello
a little sweet old lady-”hello”
a huge dude with a rage face-i steer clear
another teen like me-ignore“

Is that clear now, everyone? Er… no.

Stewart Island is known as the place you’re most likely to see a kiwi in the wild.

Perhaps it also needs to be known as the place you’re most likely to see good manners and courtesy from kids.

We have just returned from Stewart Island, with its 300 or so inhabitants, primary school of 20 kids, one shop, one pub and acres of pristine native bush.

The memory that will remain as strong as the kiwi sightings is how the kids behave. Every single kid we met (and it was school holidays) said “g’day” and “how are you?” in the street and meant it. The big lads with their hoodies on moved into single file to let us pass, and another time another bunch asked how the fishing was going. In the hut, two twelve year old lads shook my 4 year olds hand when he said sorry for jumping on one of them and winding him, and they carried on playing. The same lads were outside with us grown ups later talking about schooling options. And everyone played together – any age, any ability, visitors and locals.

Lots of kids say hello, lots of kids are friendly and genuine and helpful. But all of them in a neighbourhood? Groups of teens? To strangers? To adults? Their social skills and manner seemed to have an expectation of respect that went two ways.

Just a thought: how effortless it was for these Stewart Island kids, but how important it is to be able to interact with anyone and everyone. Does that happen – can it happen everywhere else?

Jilly